Barcelona (Part Two)

Jeep Girl here...

In January of this year, I was in another transitional time and I had a lot of questions for God about where I was and where I was supposed to be. Spain inevitible came to mind as it does every time I ask what He wants me to do. Only this time it came with a clear conviction. He said to me, "If I told you to do something that doesn't mean you stop if it's hard. You have to figure it out. Sometimes you have to fight for the things I tell you to do. It not being easy, is not proof that it wasn't my voice. I want to show you the obstcles your mind tells you are there, are not too hard for me. I want to show you how I can remove them, but you have to do your part. You have to believe that I'm going to go before you. You have to keep moving and keep believing no matter what. Only then will you be living in obedience."

OUCH! That hurt. A lot. Here I was thinking that I was mostly doing a good job of being obedient. From the outside looking in, I'm almost positive most of my friends would say so! Unfortunatly, my friends didn't get a vote on this one. I asked Him what I could do to move forward. He said, "Stir it up." That's it. Just three words. I kind of knew what he meant though. I needed to stir up my faith. 

For me, having someting tangible or visible is helpful when I need to believe. I put this picture of Spain as my screen saver on my phone. So, every time I looked at my phone durning the day (which is embarrasingly approximately 800) I would see this picture and rememeber that I'm supposed to be doing something about that. I couldn't forget it. It wan't stuffed away in that box in the back of my head anymore. It was front and center, in my face every day. I started talking about it to my friends, but in a concerete way. I built accountablity for myself by telling them, "God has spoken to me about going to Spain. I don't know how, but I'm going and I'm going as soon as possible. Hopefully within the year." They were all supportive and said they remembered it from years ago and always wondered why I had let it go. 

One Saturday a few months ago, I woke up and felt like I was supposed to reach out to the missionaries again. I argued with God about it, because nothing about my situation had changed. I still didn't have the money to go, and now I owned my own business and was the soul employee. So taking a month off work was even less possible than before. He softly but strongly reminded me that none of that mattered. So, I made it my plan to write them later on in the day, but first I would meet my friend for brunch! 

Penny, and I hadn't caught up in several weeks so we started chatting about varuious work and life events over french toast smotherd in Nutella, which is really the only good way to start a weekend. Then she asked me how the Spain thing was coming. I told her about my plans for the day, and that I didn't quite know what to say to John and Brandi, because I had nothing new to tell them. I wasn't contacting them to say "Hey I'm finally coming! (5 years later) 

I shared with Penny how I had to do it anyway though, because I was being obident and it was God's job to work out the details. Then she asked me if I could go in July. I told her that I didn't see why not. Though in my head, I was actually thinking it was possible kind of like me going to the moon in July is also possible. Nearly everything is possible, but fewer things are probable. I listened as she explained that her client had been booked as the talent for a European cruise and she would be allowed to take a guest to travel with her, so the cost would be covered. The cruise would start in Rome, meander through France and ultimately end in Barcelona. She said all I would have to do is get a flight to Rome which was currenly running $1400. She explained how I could stay over in Barcelona as long as I like and fly back on my own. (Yes, Penny is pretty much the best ever!)

My heart was racing and I had to remind myself to breathe. I was speechless. I said, "Yes! Count me in!" I left that brunch, still not knowing where the money would come from but Jeep Girl would never say no to an adventure like this one! I couldn't believe how God had now given me something to announe to John and Brandi in the email I was planning to write that afternoon AND he had arranged it so that it cost signficantly less than expected, I didn't have to travel ALONE, and did I mention an 8 day European cruise for FREE? I was praising God loudly that day! He had already taken care of almost all my fears, and given me a beautiful gift on top of that, becasue that is always His heart toward us! My Dad says that He's an "add to" God. That He always adds to what we've asked for. He gives us better than we can even imagine for ourselves! 

Later that day, I wrote to John and Brandi to share the news. They again extended the inviation, offered an apartment for me to stay in, but this time they also shared how perfect the timing was. They told me how their worship pastor was going on a month long honeymoon and they didn't have anyone to lead worship. Well, it just so happens that was my full time job for 11 years, so I was a good fit. I finally had something worthwhile to offer them! Their worship guy would leave town just days before my arrival. It was astonishing how God had worked out the timing to meet their need. 

 Then I talked to my client about leaving for a month and he genrously agreed to let me go. Everything was lining up!  I thought I had a few months to save up the money to pay for the airfare, and I figured out how I could do it all by myself, but within a few weeks I got a call from Penny saying they needed to go ahead and purchase the plane tickets. Of course, that made perfect sense. I just hadn't really processed that when I was planning. Unfortunately I was no where close to having the money saved to cover my airfare, food and transportation for a month in addition to continuing to pay my usual montly expenses back in Nashville.

 I had 24 hrs to get the money somehow. I didn't feel right about asking someone to borrow it and going into debt to do something God had told me to do. Something about that didn't feel right at all. So, I made a few phone calls to close friends and family who already knew about my dreams of going to Spain. This wouldn't be out of the blue to them, and I already knew they believed in me. At this point, I was really going to serve the church as a temporary missionary, and I thought that was something they'd get behind. 

I made my way down the list, but unfortunately it was a bad time for everyone I spoke to. Many of them said, if I had called a week earlier or if I could postpone a month or so, they would fully fund my trip! But I knew THIS was the time. Everything else had lined up, this had to as well. Discouraged I sat in my office and cried. I prayed and surrendered once again to God, and told Him that I was doing my best to be obident, that His job was the details, so I would have to let this opportunity go and trust that He would work something else out.

 As I picked up the phone to dial Penny's number and tell her my sad news, the phone rang in my hand. It was my roomate Hannah. She asked if I had raised the money for my trip yet and I told her what had gone on that day. She encouraged me to put it on facebook and I quickly explained to her that it felt embarrassing to do that, and also that a good part of my job inlcuded raising money for other people, and this was NOT how you go about it. You need weeks and weeks to raise money. You need graphics and pictures and videos and all kinds of things! She said she understood, but still thought I should do it, and we prayed together about it. I hung up with Hannah and Holy Spirit started speaking to me again.  He said, "What are you afraid of?" I answered that I had a reputation to uphold and that I didn't want to be someone who needed other people's money. I suddenly realized that my pride was standing in the way of what God had asked me to do. I thought, "If I really believe that God told me to do this, then I should be willing to do anything to make that happen, including ruining my reputaion, letting go of my pride and maybe even losing a few Facebook friends." 

OUCH again! So, I wrote a quick paragraph, trying not to sound desperate, and as I clicked the post button my stomach started to churn. For an agonizing 5 minutes,  (yep, I'm a whimp) I sat there beating myself up for doing it. Questioning everything again. Now that the crusie was involved, it felt a little more like a vacation rather than a mission trip. My brother and sister in-law are missionaries to Japan. I mean, they are serious missionaries. I'm certainly not that. I felt guilty, but the truth was I just knew I was supposed to be in Spain ministering to the people of Barcelona and it was God who put me on a cruise ship to get there. I was a little upset at Him for being so flashy about it. How was I going to explain this? 

Then my phone dinged. That happy little bell! I looked at my computer screen and had a comment from a friend asking where they could send some money! Then another, and then another and before an hour was through, my plane ticket was completely covered! I ran out into the music studio where I work. They were recording vocals that day, but I didn't care. I ran out of my office and into the control room leaping up and down and screaming and crying. Luckily the guy behind the glass that day was one of my dearest friends, and he and my client Ryan celebrated along with me!

I am absolutley astounded at what God has done! He took something I had thought was too hard for 5 years and made short work of it! He made a way, and what a beautiful way it was! He blessed me beyond what I could dream! I don't know why He is rewarding me with this trip, because I certainly don't feel worthy, but I am certain there is more in store and that the story is just beginning to unfold. 

I know there is something waiting there for me under that tree in Barcelona, and I cannot wait to find out what it is! I have spent a lot of time in prayer over the past few weeks that God would use me more than I have ever been used before. That He would help me accomplish much in a short period of time and that He would help me make some kind of impact on the church and people there that will last longer than my stay. 

I just want to take a moment to say "THANK YOU" once again to all those friends who chipped in and made this happen. I cannot tell you how much it means and the deep places in my heart that it touched. I can only say that I am absolutely committed to making the most of every moment of this trip and I can't wait to share with you the things I know God is going to do! You are a part of this too. It excites me to think that because Penny obeyed and then you obeyed, I am able to obey, and it makes me wonder who my obedience will effect. That God is just trying to get all of us to listen up and obey because THAT is actually what changes the world. 

So what is God telling you do next?

XOXO

Jeep Girl